Paksworld

It’s Veteran’s Day in the U.S.,  which is a day of remembrance for more than those who died–remembrance also of those veterans who came home and quietly set about rejoining the fabric of civilian life–who became, or returned to being, farmers, carpenters, plumbers, police officers, parents, and so on.

Fictionally, veterans have had interesting “remembrance”…sometimes as foolish, self-centered old men boring everyone with their stories of wars past and demanding privileges that (on examination of their war record) they didn’t deserve…sometimes as heroes looked up to by the community for leadership.  In real life they’ve been reviled (as some were during and after ‘Nam), nearly canonized into faux sainthood, neglected (all too often), used for photo ops by ambitious politicians (all too often), and treated in all the various ways non-veterans have been treated.

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No sooner was I into a new POV in Book Three than the whole words thing came down on me.

A character “intoned” something.   Now we all now that “said” and “asked” are the safest ways to denote speech: they’re just about invisible and don’t stick out in unwanted ways.   But every once in a while the way of saying or asking matters, and in a situation where a physical gesture won’t do.  In this case, a gnome is quoting The Law.   It’s like a preacher quoting the Ten Commandments…he’s almost chanting it.   Intoning it, in fact.

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And it’s gone, and Editor has received it (email is a lot easier, I will admit.  No days of waiting to find out if it actually got there.  OTOH,  no days of absolute safety during which I can’t be told it’s awful.)

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Even though I just found yet another unfixed rough spot  in the new book,  Book Two is almost certain to take off for NYC and its Editor tomorrow.    What rough spot, you ask (thinking, surely this writer has filed off all the rough spots and polished them smooth by now…)

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Alpha-reader K.S. called up this evening, having seen the very latest draft, with a major motivation-hole to report.   I smothered my intense desire to waily-waily-waily-o-no-o-woe  and actually listened to what she said, which was similar to what a couple of you had said, but expressed in a way that suddenly made complete and total sense.  (She has this gift.  I think we were separated at birth or something.  Or maybe, having fixed so many other problems, my mind was uncluttered enough to Get It.)

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I had already started Book Three, sometime back, when I needed to know what would happen if…for Book Two.    In one of those potential chapters, someone turned out to be a whiny, complaining twit.  I’m not fond of whiny complainers, so my first instinct was to toss this fellow out of the story…don’t need no whiners, boy!  But on second thought, now that I’m looking at Book Three before diving into it again…maybe I do need whiny complainers.  At least that one.

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Now at page 760, though I left some unfinished business a couple of chapters back…needed more stewing over.   For one thing, the chronology of the various POVs, though accurate, is reading “off.”   This is always the most difficult part, for me, of writing in multiple viewpoints…the viewpoint shifts can’t violate the real chronology of the story but at the same time, exact one-to-one correspondence would make the book full of “Meanwhile, back at the ranch” paragraphs every page or so.    Sections must be long enough to give flow, but not so long that the next POV change requires a flashback-type transition.

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Reached 497 just now, with the word count for the whole coming down slowly.

Here’s an example for discussion:  A courier arrives with an urgent message.  While the courier catches his breath, the recipient opens the message case.

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Finally cracked the 300 page mark in revisions.

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Local experienced alpha reader, having read the latest (until this morning) version of a chapter, thought it much improved but still needing a tweak or two.  And finally got it through my head exactly what was bothering him.

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