Another Story? Yes!

Posted: July 10th, 2023 under Editing, Life beyond writing, Progress, Revisions, snippet, Story, the writing life.
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Writerly egos really do work this way.  Inspired by the review copy of DEEDS OF YOUTH,  I was able to finish the sequel to “Consequences” (last story in that volume) yesterday.  MUCH faster than I finished the first one of the pair.  Together they cover the entirety of Kieri Phelan’s first independent mercenary command.  The original version I wrote in the neighborhood of 35 years ago hasn’t been found, so I was reconstructing from my memory of it.   I’m sure it’s not an accurate reconstruction, but nobody else knows the original at all.  Ha.  What you’ll finally get, when the collection after the new collection comes out, is  all there is.

An ego-correction was finding out, while doing what I thought was the final revision, that I had *reversed two characters’ names.”  Between stories.  Within weeks of having re-read “Consequences”.    Yes, OK, I’m good enough to write an exciting story in less than two weeks, a story that involves blocking out a clash of militaries (size, location, terrain, opposing forces’ different weapons, mobility, background of military theory for each, etc.)  and collapsing all the details the writer then knows into just the ones the *reader* needs to know to grasp what’s happening, the sequence of events, the personalities and back stories of the POV characters, and fitting all that into less than 7500 words at most.   But I’m not apparently good enough to noticed that between “Consequences” and (its current name, this may change) “Unintended,”  Crown Prince G-‘s name turns into younger Prince H-‘s name.

All fixed now.  G- is back to being G- across the narrow temporal gulf between reading story C and writing story U.   Be sure that from now on in I will be looking harder when writing subsequent related stories to existing stories, and doing the name check *earlier* in the process.   First-readers of story U liked it a lot.  I still like it a lot today, having spent last night and today cleaning it up.  Is it spotless and shiny, all ready for its debut later?  I’ll know better after letting the resident Nitpicker at it.  Meanwhile, a snippet.

……………………………………….

“Get a horse,” the king said.  “A good one.”

……………………………………

Meanwhile, in the daily life stuff, it’s been very, VERY hot so I’m feeding horses later and later in the evening and today moved the morning feed up to “nearly all hard feed in the morning because it’s cooler and better for them.”

A US Senator (former football coach, whoop-te-do) is taking out his spite on the Department of Defense by blocking all promotions that require Senate approval and thus leaving many commands without a commander when the previous one reached legal retirement age.  Including my branch, the Marines, who are without a Commandant for the first time in over 100 years.  (And, dear friends, you really truly do not want to leave the Marines to their own devices without a solid command structure.  You don’t want to leave ANY military that way, but we have particularly…strong…well…our nickname with at least one other branch is Uncle Sam’s Misquided Children, and our reputation is “If you want something absolutely totally destroyed, call in the Marines.”  I, of course, am now a sweet old lady, perfectly harmless except for the razor edge on tongue and pen.

I called said Senator’s Senate office today and gave a brief and non-profane description of his misdeeds (this is only one of them; the guy’s a raging racist and a contributor to the J6 insurrection) before calling on him to resign.  He won’t, of course, but this is what I can do legally, for now.  Let him know he’s not the strong noble hero he thinks he is but a pissant southern neo-Confederate who broke his oath of office, tried to overturn the government, and has pissed off a Marine veteran.  At least one.  Sure there’s more.   I’m feeling that the Senator, who never served in any branch, should perhaps contemplate the effect of Marines minus a complete command structure on something closer to his heart than the rest of the country, since he doesn’t care about the rest of the country, just his billionaire donors and the white folks in his home state.  Needs to be reminded that the Senate doesn’t command the military.  That’s an executive function, and it needs a whole, unbroken, chain of command from POTUS on down to the lowest level just-out-of-boot-camp E-1.

So I think I need to call his office *daily* with things he clearly doesn’t know, and needs to know, about the real, serious, deal it is to stand in the way of the Marines having a  Commandant.  His name, in case you don’t know it, is Tommy Tuberville, and he pronounced it TUBBER-vill.  Wouldn’t want to say a Senator’s name wrong, would we?  (Rubber-Tubber?  Flubber-Tubber?)  I leave the cussing out to the senior NCOs, who are superb at it (an art form, once they’re up in grade)  and recommend that former officers and lower grade enlisted just list any four or eight of his “errors” as politely as possible within the need to make it clear what a [redacted] he is.

 

4 Comments »

  • Comment by Jonathan Schor — July 11, 2023 @ 6:33 am

    1

    Sweet old lady – Hah. Like Lady Cecelia you are. Is there a Texas organization for former Marines you could mobilize? I was in the Navy many decades ago but I always had a little bit of pride when I saw the Marines on duty. Stay cool if possible.

    From up here in quite wet New England.


  • Comment by Leslie — July 11, 2023 @ 7:25 pm

    2

    I have an friend who was a medic in the Air Force and now is involved with the local Marine auxiliary. She writes and calls Senate offices frequently. I am sure I will be hearing her take on this soon.
    Will there be info on ordering a print copy of Youth? All I’m seeing is Kindle.
    Have you had time to watch Yvonne and Uniek lately? The last video she posted was Uniek’s birthday and seeing three horses eating “birthday cake” was somehow soothing.


  • Comment by JJ Shaun — July 13, 2023 @ 8:20 am

    3

    I attended my Navy “A” school with a few Marines, served shipboard with one or two, and worked with several more when I became a PFC (Private F-ing Citizen). For all the inter-branch rivalries, I have a TON of respect for my Marine sisters and brothers. Thank you for your words and perseverance.

    I look forward to reading your latest releases.


  • Comment by elizabeth — July 14, 2023 @ 8:38 am

    4

    Welcome to the blog, JJ. I have a ton of respect for the Navy and consider you and others as siblings in service as well. My uncle was Navy during WWII (destroyer in the Pacific.) His son went Air Force, and *his* son came to the Corps. Husband was Army; his father was Army Air Corps in WWII,his uncle was also Navy, and a cousin was Army. So there’s no real rivalry, just awareness.


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