In Case You’re Wondering

Posted: July 4th, 2014 under the writing life.
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Where, you may be wondering, is the planned short-fiction collection in its progress towards release?  Good question, and the answer is, I haven’t done all I’m supposed to do, thanks to a series of things (rethinking a couple of stories,  A-Kon,  the first Father’s Day after my father’s death, and the eye stuff.   And now my agent’s got jury duty.  )

Excuses.    The one complication I really did not expect was the effect of the first Father’s Day after my father’s death.  We weren’t close; there’d been a lot of difficulty with the relationship for most of my life.    The first nonpainful contact in decades a few years ago did a lot of good, so when he died I wasn’t either consumed with guilt or with grief.    So I didn’t expect anything to happen with Father’s Day, and instead I had a few days of complete internal chaos.  Couldn’t think, and certainly couldn’t write.

It was a good thing, actually…a Father’s Day in which I was freed of the guilt of all those Father’s Days when I had been aware of not being the daughter he wanted, of being at fault because I couldn’t create, on my end, the relationship he thought I should, on his end.  This time my not calling, or sending a present or card, was no longer a dereliction of duty (in his eyes) but simply the reality that you don’t phone dead parents or send them cards.   The struggle was really over.

Why the chaos hit then and not when he died, or on his birthday (which was close to Father’s Day) I don’t know….but it chose Father’s Day for its emergence, and for a good 3-4 days I thought I was going totally bonkers.  Then my head clicked back into the working orientation and I could see what had been going on.   Humans are infinitely weird, at least this one is, and no doubt something of that will end up in a book in some disguised form.   It may not be a father/daughter thing at all…but it will be a delayed reaction to a long stress.

So anyway…when I can see better with less strain, and my agent is off jury duty,  I’ll get back with him about the cover design, the stories to be included, and I’ll let y’all know where it stands when I know where it stands.  Thanks for your patience so far.  In the meantime I’m writing more online and no fiction, having overdosed on Cherryh’s Foreigner series (as mentioned, I think) in the past 10 days.  A book a day of that series pretty much shuts down one’s own creative output in trying to digest it that fast.

Also:  though if I have my new glasses and can drive by then–I might show up at ArmadilloCon just to say hi to people–my next real outing is DragonCon over the Labor Day weekend.


  • Comment by Jonathan Schor — July 4, 2014 @ 11:24 am


    Take your time, relax, get your head together.

    It is always worth the wait for quality.

  • Comment by KarenH — July 4, 2014 @ 3:43 pm


    I had my cataracts removed 2 years apart. I managed to read by blocking the vision of the eye that was operated on.

    That being said, it only works if your other eye isn’t too bad.

    I wish you the best on your recovery.

  • Comment by GinnyW — July 4, 2014 @ 7:58 pm


    The recovery time is necessary, both on Father’s Day sneak up and knock you into an emotional cocked hat, and on the eyesight.

    My own relationship with my father was complex and difficult, and it took over a year for me to stop having unexpected triggers send me into greater or lesser emotional chaos. There were too many things that I wanted or needed that he was incapable of, and things that he wanted me to be that I just couldn’t be. We made peace with it, thankfully, before he passed on. Still, alot of frustrating, difficult memories would surface unexpectedly and knock me for a loop. You have my sympathy, and best wishes.

    And to you, and all the other readers checking in from this side of the Atlantic, Happy Independence Day! And Happy Independence to all of us, whether it is the official day or not.

  • Comment by Daniel Glover — July 5, 2014 @ 7:15 am


    Yes, grief and other stress can, and does, come out in different ways. I am glad you weren’t facing a long novel deadline under contract. Having a collection of mostly finished short stories for self publication is a differing deadline. I’m glad you’ve been able to self regulate on that front with all that’s happened.

    Not that I don’t want to see the stories sooner than later and you probably would like to see the income start coming in from this work as well. When it does come out, it will be soon enough for me–and I’ll have to go out and get me an e-reader.

  • Comment by Genko — July 5, 2014 @ 11:26 am


    Another difficult relationship with my father. We reconciled, sort of, before he died, but I still found that when he died I was filled with a rage that surprised me. I speculated that if I had allowed myself to feel all of that when he was alive, I wouldn’t have been able to figure out how to be polite to him in family gatherings, etc. And my M.O. about difficult emotions was simply not to feel them, which of course meant that they were buried. In this case, once he died, it all exploded, and for a couple of years I was dealing with surprising, and sometimes frightening rage. It did eventually soften, and now I am more even with it, and actually have reasonably good feelings about him. But yes, these things come seemingly out of nowhere, and may or may not make sense in retrospect.

    Good advice to let it take as long as it takes. Not really a lot of choice anyway. Postponing just makes it take that much longer.

  • Comment by GinnyW — July 5, 2014 @ 12:26 pm


    I empathize with the sudden rage. I spent over a year making all the recipes I knew (and that my husband likes) that involve pounding something. It provided a constructive outlet.

    I suspect that publishing in e-book format, with any potential paper book only a suggestion, might be faster at the production end. But we have greatly benefited from Elizabeth taking time to edit, proof, edit again. I expect this project will benefit from taking time for details and for Writer’s health and welfare as well.

  • Comment by Annabel — July 5, 2014 @ 3:08 pm


    Grief is funny, and shows itself in funny ways. I am much looking forward to the collection of stories whenever you are ready to have them published, though. Delays happen.

    I do hope your eye has now recovered, and you are able to see out of it. I, too, have astigmatism, and I thought of you the other day. I have been having a bad attack of gut-rot, so on Wednesday I bought an aloe vera drink to see if it would help settle matters. I drank half of it, and then thought to look at the nutrition information – 388 Calories per 100 ml! Oops. But when I got it out of the fridge the next day, it was magically only 38 Calories per 100 ml! Phew! The first would have been nearly a day’s worth of energy in the 500 ml bottle, like some of those drinks people buy in Starbucks.

    And today I had to find the IMEI of my phone, which refused to wake up when I did this morning, and when I had taken its cover off, the numbers were so small I knew I’d make a mess of them without a magnifying glass so had to ask someone else to read it for me. When I worked in the trade, I kept a magnifying glass on my desk!

  • Comment by Sharidann — July 7, 2014 @ 2:30 am


    Grief after the passing away of a loved (or not so loved)parent is a weird Thing.
    You cope for a while and all of a sudden, emotions surge to the fore and you Need to adjust again.
    Good that you managed to make your peace (sort of) with your father before his death, it helps on the Long run.

    Enjoy the new sight and the relief which Comes with it. You know we can’t wait to read something new from you and won’t go away.

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