{"id":1466,"date":"2012-02-02T15:31:03","date_gmt":"2012-02-02T21:31:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.paksworld.com\/blog\/?p=1466"},"modified":"2012-02-02T15:31:03","modified_gmt":"2012-02-02T21:31:03","slug":"weasel-wording","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.paksworld.com\/blog\/?p=1466","title":{"rendered":"Weasel-wording"},"content":{"rendered":"

Vonda N. McIntyre<\/a> (a writer whose work I hope you’ve read)\u00a0 has been posting some snarky comments about\u00a0 the verb “seem.”\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It seems that some writers seem to find a reason to seem uncertain about things going on in their books…they seem unable to say what someone felt, only what someone seemed to feel, seemed to think, seemed about to do, etc.\u00a0\u00a0 “Seem” has its uses (every word has its uses) but some words seem to fit a writer’s need not to say exactly what he\/she means.\u00a0\u00a0 Thus, “seem” upholds the banner of “weasel-words.”<\/p>\n

Weasel-words coat clean, functional, strong, sharp-edged prose with a softening layer of doubt, uncertainty, indecision, and faux-courtesy.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 (The last is more common in conversation.)\u00a0\u00a0 Weasel-words cut the power of strong active verbs.\u00a0\u00a0 “He seemed to think” rather than “He thought.”\u00a0\u00a0 Notice that not only does\u00a0 “seem” lack the conviction of “thought” but “thought” itself has been reduced from an active form to an infinitive, pushed out of the verb place into that of a “what” (what he seemed…)\u00a0 They add words (padding), something known to most students told to write an essay of a given length.<\/p>\n

And weasel-words pass unnoticed when writing because they’re not grammatical errors.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 “They seemed to be uncomfortable” is not wrong, the way\u00a0 “They is uncomfortable” is.\u00a0\u00a0 It doesn’t stick out as wrong; it sounds like normal speech; no junior high English teacher will flag it with a red pencil.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 We hear weasel-words every day; we hear them, see them, use them, without paying much attention to them.\u00a0\u00a0 They smooth utterances out; they’re an easy way to provide comfortable prosody.\u00a0\u00a0 We all use them.\u00a0 I use them.\u00a0 (I try to edit them out, but this morning I found three snuggled into the corners of half a chapter.)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Recognizing when these perfectly grammatical constructions are appropriate, and when they’re weasel-wording,\u00a0 takes persistence and enough self-doubt to examine the phrases critically.<\/p>\n

But Vonda’s right:\u00a0\u00a0 overuse of “seem” leads to flaccid, dull, writing, and the same is true of other weasel-words.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I won’t list or give examples of every form of weasel-wording, but for those who want cleaner writing, here are some to watch out for in your own work.<\/p>\n

When you see verb forms other than ordinary active (past, present, or future)\u00a0 you may be looking at weasel-wording.\u00a0 \u00a0 Infinitives are easy; that handy “to” catches the eye. \u00a0 Assisting the infinitive-form of weasel-wording are weak active verbs\u00a0 (seem, begin, want, try, start, etc.) \u00a0\u00a0 As the writer puts down whatever scenes are passing through the writer’s mind,\u00a0 it’s very easy–automatic, in fact–to use these everyday, not-specific-enough verbs with an infinitive. \u00a0\u00a0 “He seemed to be trying to say<\/em> something.” \u00a0 “She began to feel<\/em> strange.” \u00a0 “They started to sense <\/em>danger.”<\/p>\n

What could replace those uncertainties, those nonspecific phrases?\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 What shows the POV character that”he” is “trying to speak?”\u00a0\u00a0 Use those details.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 What kind of “strange” did “she” feel (dizzy, blurred vision, nausea, euphoria?)\u00a0 What senses contributed to the sensation of danger?\u00a0 (Sound or silence?\u00a0 Something unfamiliar?\u00a0 Movement or stillness?)<\/p>\n

Infinitives are easy to spot as “not being a verb right this minute”\u00a0 but other forms, also common in weasel-wording, sneak past the quick look.\u00a0 Progressive forms, for instance.\u00a0 “He was running” instead of “He ran.” \u00a0 \u00a0 Sometimes they occur on their own, but sometimes they, too, have helpers.\u00a0 Often those helpers are weaker or unspecific verbs (thought, felt, considered)\u00a0 but Vonda’s unfavorite “seem” gets in the act too.\u00a0\u00a0 “He thought about cleaning the room.”\u00a0 “He felt like resting until lunch.”\u00a0\u00a0 “She seemed to be catching a cold.”<\/p>\n

Notice that–except in dialogue, a different animal altogether–these phrases don’t do much to move the book along or make a situation clearer.\u00a0\u00a0 In real life, it may be different, though we all know the difference between thinking about<\/em> losing weight or cleaning the house and actually doing something concrete to move the process along.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 We know that feeling like<\/em> resting or working or going to the movies isn’t doing it.<\/p>\n

So when writing (not thinking<\/em> about writing)\u00a0 those suspicious phrases require a second, very analytical, look.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It’s true that actions have beginnings and endings, but is it important to the story that Jack and Jill began to go<\/em> up the hill?\u00a0\u00a0 Or that they went<\/em> up the hill?\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 At some point Jack started his fall–but does that matter, or\u00a0 “Jack fell down and broke his crown?”\u00a0\u00a0 As if to prove that a sometimes-weaselly word may be perfect in another setting, there’s “And Jill came tumbling after.”<\/p>\n

Modifiers also contribute weasel-words to the average text.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I pruned one out this morning.\u00a0 A character “almost shook his head” .\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The non-action conveyed nothing of the personality and did not move the plot along or contribute to the understanding of the situation.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Almost-but-not-quite shaking a head is…nothing, really.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Either he shook his head, or he didn’t shake his head…and that’s assuming there’s a reason to notice and care which.\u00a0\u00a0 Would a head-shake matter?\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Out came “almost shook his head.”\u00a0 Nobody saw;’ nobody cared.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 In other places I’ve found I’ve written “almost hungry,”\u00a0 “almost too tired,” “almost finished.”\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 As with the travel-weary child in the back seat, whose “Are we there yet?” isn’t soothed with “Almost,”\u00a0 the word has been used so much that we aren’t soothed to find it in every other paragraph.\u00a0\u00a0 We should be almost over almost.<\/p>\n

And I am definitely over this post (looking at the time and the work remaining for the day.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Vonda N. McIntyre (a writer whose work I hope you’ve read)\u00a0 has been posting some snarky comments about\u00a0 the verb “seem.”\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It seems that some writers seem to find a reason to seem uncertain about things going on in their books…they seem unable to say what someone felt, only what someone seemed to feel, seemed […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[61],"tags":[62],"class_list":["post-1466","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-craft","tag-craft-of-writing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.paksworld.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1466"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.paksworld.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.paksworld.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.paksworld.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.paksworld.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1466"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.paksworld.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1466\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1468,"href":"http:\/\/www.paksworld.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1466\/revisions\/1468"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.paksworld.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1466"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.paksworld.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1466"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.paksworld.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1466"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}